Decoding your leads during Sales meetings

Author: | Posted in Humor, startup No comments

There are a thousand things that a person in sales needs to be good at. But according to me, the most important skill is to decode the true intention behind what your lead/client is trying to communicate either from what he says or what he does.


#1 We are looking at other providers as well

Give us the best pricing or else we will move forward with the other imaginary vendor. He keeps on ranting about how the other providers don’t even cost the 10% of what you charge and how they also provide top notch quality.

He is that sort of person who keeps blaming you after a mutual break up. If she is hotter and sweeter than me, it is a no-brainer to leave. But you won’t because it doesn’t exist.  

Imaginary. Hence proved!


#2 Incessant head butt-er

He nods his head so violently back and forth in agreement that you might be tempted to think that he is going to convert right away. But na, na na. He just wants you to finish off with your pitch like quick, real quick.


#3 We have a million other projects in the pipeline

Work with us for peanuts.


#4 Would you like to explore mutually beneficial ways of working together?

Work with us for free.


#5 Eye contact monk

These are the kind of people who would complete your sentences for you. Midway down the conversation, you end up thinking why the fuck doesn’t he have a halo over his head. But wait monks can ignore your calls afterwards.


#6 Let’s synergize

Refer #4


#7 I know it all

I have experience in design. So I know the complexity. Don’t even talk about the price, I was in finance as well. I can launch satellites and I even know how to walk on water. So don’t tell me that your service costs this much.


#8 Money isn’t a problem, as long as you can give great quality

Now these people are a rarity. So rare that I am going to ask you to slap yourself and snap back to reality.


Every day one sales person loses his shit because of people like you. But still go ahead and do it. Because we salesmen are extremely annoying and relentless people, we will get avenge the pain we underwent once you sign up.
But until then, we will like all your social media posts and look like an angel. Decoding salesmen, up next 🙂


Story teller, budding writer and wannabe stand-up comic who likes to be called an Entertainer. Big believer of ‘Will over Skill’.
Electronics Engineer by degree, but Sarcasm Engineer by choice. Above all, a person who would do anything to put a smile on your face.

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