Feminism, will you be my valentine?

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I love feminism

Feminism is absolutely awesome, it is like meditation. I think we should all practice it for 15 minutes everyday. Just to add that extra star to your good karma.

I repeat feminism is like meditation. The only difference being the swap that happens between the words ‘eliminate’ and ‘listen’ in the below sentence.

“Meditation asks you to eliminate the external noise and listen to the inner peace. “

  • I love feminism cos it teaches me new words everyday

Every time I want to learn a new word, I instantly google ‘Feminism’. Here are few words on the synonyms of the The Feminist Dictionary.

Benevolent sexism- If a man tries to help a woman without her permission, you are fucking benevolent sexist.
Tip: next time you see a girl falling down from the stairs do take her permission in a nano-second before catching her.

feminism

Objectification- Definitely not Game of Thrones. Not my choice video. Not fifty shades of grey. Not fairness ads. But hell yeah, screw Simbu, screw comedians and funny colleagues and class mates. Screw honey singh and Gangs of Wasseypur.

Chauvinism – Word is worthless without adding the word male in front of it.

Patriarchy- Any action done by men.

  • I love feminism cos I love funny stuff

Feminism strives for the equality of sexes. But rarely do you see a feminist going against the reservation policy in India.

Now opportunists feminists why is that. It is funny because neither your actions nor the term you use to call yourself denotes that.

Coming to the most important issue, why haven’t any one of you gone against those free ‘New year party’ entries.

Why haven’t you rallied against ‘Ladies night’ when you get 1+1 drink on offer and most men don’t. Why?

  • I love feminism cos I love women

I think women are beautiful. Most men do. Don’t you remember, we are the who crack those stupid jokes in class just to put a smile on your face. The ones that would run the canteen to get you that soy milk. The ones that keep complimenting your hair, your clothes, your smile. Okay not clothes.

Call us flirtatious, but them remember God designed us. He fucked up our comprehension between sweetness and flirting. (Don’t even think about using the above sentence against me. My comeback is ready.)

Speaking of flirting, shit I am married. Moving on.

  • I love feminism cos fuck difference of opinion

Just cos you have a strong opinion on something, it doesn’t mean you can’t love the person who has that opinion. I may not agree with your opinion but that doesn’t stop me from loving you.

Aww, didn’t I just turn on your emotional emoticon?

Chalo, joke time now.

Me: Hi
Feminist: Hello
Me: What is your gender?
Feminist: Can’t you see?
Me: I am figure blind.
Feminist: Yeah right. Female.
Me: What Male?
Feminist: Err.
Me: Chill maadi. What plans for Valentine’s day. Night out with your boyfriend?
Feminist: Why the hell should I celebrate my love on a Male chauvinistic day?
Me: The what?
Feminist: Valentine is a man’s name.
Me: *nirvana* *meditation*

Story teller, budding writer and wannabe stand-up comic who likes to be called an Entertainer. Big believer of ‘Will over Skill’.
Electronics Engineer by degree, but Sarcasm Engineer by choice. Above all, a person who would do anything to put a smile on your face.

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